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Wednesday, June 3, 2009

Is It Love or Lust?

Is It Love or Lust?
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"There's nothing in the world like the devotion of a married woman; it's a thing no married man knows anything about." — Oscar Wilde

So how can you tell if it's love or lust? To get developmental perspective, we posed the question — and a few others — to anthropology professor Helen Fisher of Rutgers University:

Q: What is the relationship between love and lust and do we often confuse the two?
A: There are different emotional and physiological components to both love and lust. Romantic attraction and feelings of love for someone elevates our dopamine and serotonin levels, which causes feelings of elation and loss of appetite. When we get to the point of feeling attachment and a more long-term phase of love, our bodies generate more oxytocin (known as the "hormone of love").

Lust, sex drive and an appetite for sex can visit during this process and is generated by increased testosterone levels in both men and women. Heightened levels of testosterone inspire a feeling of focused attention and sexual arousal.



Q: Is infidelity a natural phenomenon?
A: We definitely have the circuitry to be adulterous. There are Darwinian reasons why cheating has evolved. If a man has two children with one woman and more children with another, more of his DNA will be present in the next generation, which includes the genes associated with adultery! It perpetuates itself.

Q: Who are more adulterous, men or women?
A: Roughly 25 percent of men and 15 percent of women will be adulterous during marriage. This is really hard to quantify, but it is fairly common in both sexes. What is interesting is that adultery seems to be decreasing.

Q: That's surprising, why?
A: Possibly because both men and women are more independent and can leave an unhappy marriage more easily these days. We also find that men and women are marrying later, divorcing more and living longer, leaving them single for more of their adult lives. They are less adulterous as a result of spending less time married.

Q: Do sex and love mean different things to men and women?
A: Men are more inclined to have one-night stands, and women tend to connect love and sex to a greater degree. Women connect sex with romance and intimacy, while men focus more on body parts and functioning. What's interesting is that men tend to consider sex a more intimate act than women do. From an evolutionary standpoint, this makes sense because women are actually giving men a gift during copulation — the opportunity to spread his seed. It is also easier for women to find sexual partners.

Q: Does age influence our sexual interests?
A: Young men have 10 times more testosterone in their early 20s, and this is the peak of their sex drive. It tends to level out after that. On the other hand, a woman's sex drive peaks in her late 20s and early 30s. As a result of decreased testosterone as men age, they tend to become more compassionate as their levels go down. Conversely, as a woman's estrogen level decreases with age, she will become more assertive. This has to do with the fact that the proportion of testosterone in a woman's system plays a larger role as the estrogen decreases.

Q: What role does attractiveness play in this love-lust equation?
A: We find that highly attractive couples tend to divorce more — probably because they have more opportunities to form new relationships. In general, we tend to couple with people who have a similar level of attractiveness. We also find that men tend to fall for pretty faces, while women are highly attracted to men with fat wallets. From an evolutionary standpoint, this makes sense because men are looking to improve their gene pool while women are looking for men who will help to support their children.

35 comments:

qsr2089silver said...

it's depends on how we do it adn thinks.if we thinks it LOVE then it is LOVE and otherwise happen...up to you babes!!!

安室 said...

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龐克搖滾 said...

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佩璇佩璇 said...

思想與理論,貴呼先於行動,但行動較思想或理論更高貴........................................

童紫勳 said...

好文章,希望能一直看到您的PO文........................................

采瑩 said...

婚姻對男人來說是賭他的自由,對女人而言卻是賭她的幸福。 ..................................................

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MathewP_Thu22269 said...

人必須心懷希望,才會活的快樂,日子才過得充實,有意義,有朝氣,有信心。........................................

LoganO_Kellam1 said...

沒有友情,人生何樂?.............................................

哲維哲維 said...

Efforts to fight fuel!........................................................

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瑜吟瑜吟 said...

先將一個人的生活過好,才有能力過好兩個人的生活..................................................

730A_ngelinaRabideau0 said...

Lets cross the bridge when we come to it........................................

刁陳 said...

廢話不多,祝你順心~^^ ........................................

SadeRa盈君iford0412 said...

仇恨是一把雙刃劍,傷了別人,也傷了自己......................................................

彥安 said...

能猜得出女人真實年齡的男人也許耳聰目明,但肯定毫無大腦。哈哈!...............................................................

萱祥 said...

Poverty is stranger to industry.....................................................................

KrisMcmillen07星美 said...

成熟,就是有能力適應生活中的模糊。.................................................................

韓秀美 said...

人有兩眼一舌,是為了觀察倍於說話的緣故。............................................................

琇白 said...

blog不錯唷~我會常常來看的~加油~!! ..................................................................

PearleY建佑 said...

來幫忙拼人氣~Go Go Go..................................................................

懿綺懿綺 said...

好的開始並不代表會成功,壞的開始並不代表是失敗............................................................

王春蕙王春蕙 said...

很喜歡看看別人的生活故事,謝謝您的分享哦~~............................................................

明儒 said...

天下父母心-時時孝順你的父母~~..................................................................

蕙春蕙春 said...

這麼優的部落格,不踩一下不開心............................................................

莊雅和莊雅和莊雅和 said...

感覺很用心經營呢!鼓勵鼓勵..................................................................

余憲希余憲希 said...

Never hesitate to hold out your hand; never hesitate to accept the outstretched hand of another..................................................................

黃昱行黃昱行 said...

我們能互相給予的最佳禮物是「真心的關懷」。..................................................

林聿希林聿希林聿希 said...

Make yourself necessary to someone..................................................................

林宗羅嘉菱達 said...

時間就是塑造生命的材料。

初茂一嬌 said...

做好事,不需要給人知道,雖然只是一件微不足道的事,但我相信,這會帶給我快樂。..................................................

凱v胡倫 said...

旁觀自己的悲傷是解脫,主觀自己的悲傷是更加悲傷................................................

陳倩江陳倩江陳倩江 said...

來逛逛blog~~跟您打聲招呼............................................................

士文婷文婷松 said...

若有人問你成功時會不會記得他 試問若你失敗時他會不會記得你......................................................................

木詹詹詹詹詹行詹詹 said...

真正仁慈的人,會忘記他們做過的善行,他們全心投入現在的工作,過去的事已被遺忘。.................................................

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