My understanding of love

With my month of December already containing 4 weddings, two engagements, several beginning "serious" relationships, one messy divorce, and the most important birthday in the world, I cannot help but have been giving some thought to love.

From what I have gone through, from my experiences, my understanding of Love is different from what many people would think.

I have loved. I have been loved. I have spurned, I have been spurned. I have given and I have taken. I have had the rush of endorphins and hormones that give the feeling of love, and I have had that rush fade leaving nothing more than logic and understanding.

Love to me is part commitment, it is the choice to love, despite the storm of emotions, despite the tides of feeling. Feelings come and go, but love remains constant. but committed love is consistent love, it neither grows nor fades by itself.

Love is part practice. I do not mean that it is loving one person after another so one could say "I loved Susie, I loved Rachel, I loved Veronica, I loved Betty, and now I love _________." Practiced love is the attempt to put love into action. Practiced love is showing love, its giving love away with nothing expected in return. The thing about practiced love is that it returns to the one who is practicing it. Practiced love is for everyone you meet though. It is not just for that one special person, although that is just as important. It is to be used to help everyone around you, every soul that crosses your path, every person you see. It has no barriers, it worries not about race, color, social status or position, gender, religion, even sexual orientation.

You cannot grow in love until you give it away. The more you give it away, the more people you are able to help and to show love to, the more it returns to you.

Love is part cherishing and nurturing. Love desires nothing more than what is best for the other person and will provide it in any way possible. Love is holding them so dear that even when they are wrong and doing something stupid, you are willing to take the heat and the anger and the wrath to prevent them. Love is forgetting about self and being fully involved with the other person. When someone can not let go of self, they cannot practice love. When someone cannot practice love constantly, they cannot make the choices and commitments love requires.

Love is enduring. Love is scorned. Real love is laughed at and ignored. Real love only has a few people ever return even a smidgen of it back. To truly love is to continue on loving despite the hinderances, the refusals and the rejections. Love continues to love someone even when they would rather hate you. love means letting them hate you. Real love is always misunderstood. To be truly loving is to care not a whit about what is returned to you. True love is alone.

What does love mean to you?